Sunlight and Gems

You may not love but you can be loyal.


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Valentine’s Day is at our doorsteps and the old joke pops up regarding Number 1 and Number 2. You know that you are a maitey (Jamaican word for side chick or mistress) when you have to celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 13th or 15th, the day before or after. It is a running and universal joke.

Men are at the center of this blood-red day where hearts, gifts, money, and chocolate rule the day. Women who never had a pedicure or manicure find themselves in the nail salon and hairdressers have more customers than they are able to handle. Women want to look their best to profile and sinfully tempt their man or the man that they are borrowing from someone else. Yes, don’t shake your heads; women do borrow and so do men.

So, who has the love and the loyalty? Sweetheart, wife, or neither?

Is the word loyalty falling behind?

Side chicks will wait patiently for their day to celebrate, whether it be Valentine’s, Christmas, or New Year because they are sure that their married boos or those with a girlfriend will eventually show up with that gift.

Love is the word but not loyalty. Loyalty seems to have lost its place in our new world.

Loyalty between friends, the ride or dies is fading, lost in the new world of superficiality. We send our children off to school and we say, “Love you, Sweetie.” Children repeat the phrase, “I love you” without understanding what the word actually means or is inclusive of. So, when we meet a man or woman and repeat the words “I love you,” do we really mean it or is it a phrase that is automatically repeated? Is it that there is something about that person that you are attracted to, like his money, his popularity or the way he looks? You hear it from the side chicks repeatedly that they are in a better position than the spouse. They don’t have to wash, cook or clean but they collect money to pay their rent, buy their clothes, fly off to trips. So really, while a husband/wife is being disloyal by being unfaithful, who or what is the maitey loyal to? Is it the man or the comforts derived from the man?

Think about the friend who betrays a confidence repeatedly, discussing and outing private and personal information. The ‘bonafide’ friend that they claim to have is thrown under the bus without any hesitation. The siblings who display neither love or loyalty to each other as they constantly back-bite and betray each other.

You may not love but you can be loyal.

As we get older, the words love and loyalty should become more than repetition, words spoken automatically. These traits help strengthen our relationships. It is true, that whomever, whatever you are loyal to, should very much be deserving of that loyalty.

Proverbs 3:3-13 Never let go of loyalty and faithfulness.



About The Author

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Dantie Smith-Brown

Dantie Smith-Brown was born and raised in Jamaica, West Indies, where she graduated from teacher’s college before migrating to the United States. Changing course upon arrival, she became a Respiratory Care Practitioner when her father introduced her to that specialized area in health care. She is passionate about educating, diagnosing and treating individuals who suffer from heart and lung diseases to improve their health and well-being.

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